Newspaper - Another Monarch Bites the Dust
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Another Monarch Bites the Dust
September 9, 2022
Yesterday, Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain passed away, and around the world, nations that have endured British oppression are celebrating. For far too long, this \"lich\" thrived off the blood and labor of others. Under her reign, millions lived in poverty so that she and her family could enjoy a life of luxury.
“The death of Elizabeth II is a positive development for Lamang. Every imperialist who oppressed us deserves to die. The only unfortunate part is that it took this long,” said Vice President Jan Park.
We stand firmly with our representatives. Down with the aristocracy! It’s time to follow the French example and send them all to the guillotine.
Celebrations Around Lamang
Across Lamang, work came to a halt as people poured into the streets to celebrate the death of the British oppressor.
“We are thankful that the British are mourning. Long live President Narith Sayavong!” said food vendor Anan Vongphakdy.
Commentary by Khamphanh Vongphachanh
What greater joy could a jungle-born like me feel than at the death of one of history’s greatest oppressors? Elizabeth is gone, and I could not be more elated.
While the British may grieve, much of the world breathes a sigh of relief. Justice has finally caught up. Few nations escaped the reach of the British Empire, and scars remain wherever they set foot. Just look at their closest neighbor, Ireland — even they know better than to trust the British.
Every nation deserves freedom from the parasites we call aristocracy, pampered elites living off wealth built with blood-stained hands. Thank the heavens we Lamangese are not like them.
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Film Review by Nok Dam — Medieval
Medieval is a historical action drama inspired by the life of Czech national hero Jan Žižka, one of the most successful military leaders in history. Directed by Czech filmmaker Petr Jákl, it provides a rare glimpse into Central European history without being filtered through the usual Western lens.
Though not without its flaws, the film delivers a gripping tale of action and political intrigue, set in a region too often overlooked by cinema. Žižka, a warrior who defied imperialist powers — much as we Lamangese have — stands out as a true revolutionary and a figure worth admiring.
A strong recommendation.
8/10
Fun with Girls
What do you get when you cross Prince Charles and Queen Elizabeth? Dead in a tunnel.
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Local newspaper.